Why most pitch sucks and how to make yours work

I am simply following my observations to their logical conclusion

So the thing is:

I get a good amount of cold pitches almost on a daily basis… (Twitter, Instagram, Gmail, LinkedIn… even Facebook..)

All of them, very predictable …

All of them, using the same strategy

All of them, coming across as very needy

Most times, I know what’s coming — from the preview alone — the subject line —even before I open the damn thing.

Mostly, it goes something like:

Attention-seeking headline/subject-line/preview-lead




Emotional blackmail/Threat/Guilt-tripping tactic


Some even delude themselves into thinking they can “bully or harrass you” into saying yes to their poorly crafted “tough guy” pitch

One guy actually gave me a 72-hour ultimatum

Saying in the final paragraphs of his email that my decision to reply him [on time … or not….] would prove if I really knew as much about marketing as most people claim in their remarks about me

LOL, if you don’t take your dirty stinking bum-bum out of here

It was laughable — and very amateur too.

Trying too hard sound tough… (what’s the point?)

And trying too hard to make your prospect “worry” about your assessment of their proficiency…

*Necessary digression*

(Why, in Hare Krishna’s name… should I care whether you think I’m good at what I do or not? …. A total stranger who can’t even construct a responsive pitch?… Someone whose existense I wasn’t aware of until they tried to pitch me to hire them?)

*End of Necessary digression*

….And trying to do it in a way you think will make your prospect. (subconsciously or otherwise) reply your pitch with something well-thought out / well crafted… just to win your validation….?

An attempt by the pitchee to please the pitcher?

Some even go as far as trying to tear your work apart…

Telling you it could be wayyyyyy better

Or that there are several loopholes in your system

And if you let it continue…. the house you’ve toiled to build could come crashing down … sooner than later

For most people, strategies like these probably seem smart on the surface (Maybe our friend above even tried it once and it worked…)

But even a drunk 12-year-old (who knows a thing or 2 about human behaviour) can see how the joke writes itself from the get go.

Another guy dropped his phone number and gave me a specific time of the day to call him (if I was interested)

Nothing wrong with leaving your contact details (just in case)..

But look at his words and you see how he’s committing suicide without even knowing or realizing it:


Call me between 4pm-7pm today Friday (My weeks are always busy, I’m only available for calls on Fridays… so you can call now)


And if I didn’t call between those hours?

Well… he wouldn’t be available for a call until the following weekend (same timeframe he gave me — from his obviously busy schedule)

You cannot send me a pitch and then give me funny conditions and instructions to do as I’m told (who’s pitching who again?)

And as you might guess:

This man would later …(after not hearing from me and wondering how on earth I chose to ignore him) … send 2 follow-up emails (the next day… and the day after… asking if I was available for a call… apparently, his busy schedule had miraculously cleared up)

No response.

And I never opened any of his emails again

And then, there are those who offer to work for free …

What can I say to this group of people?

How do I explain to them that this can be very repulsive?

There are a number of other things to point out

But it seems I’m running out of creative ways to distill my points

So I’ll just wrap this up as quickly as I can:

Listen, as far as sending a pitch to a prospect goes (Even if it is using WhatsApp to ask that Chizoba girl out on a dinner date)

You have to understand:

You, the pitcher… actually need their YES more than they need whatever it is you’re offering (or what you think you’re offering)..

Which is why you’re sending that pitch in the first place

And you cannot, for any reason, insult their intelligence, or come off as a cocky know-it-all who thinks every other person on earth is beneath you and should be:

Worshipping at your stinking feet…

Or licking your dirty bum-bum.

And whatever you do…

Don’t forget that if it looks like the usual pitch (the predictable stuff almost everyone keeps sending out… yet, nobody likes… nor responds to anymore…)

It most likely won’t get you the kinda favourable response you seek

At best, it will get you into your prospect’s blacklist




I’ll take you to greatness-affiliate marketer-self development https://askedwardeni.com.ng

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I’ll take you to greatness-affiliate marketer-self development https://askedwardeni.com.ng

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